Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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