He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
