i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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