i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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