Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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