I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
