Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
