I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
