stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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