we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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