i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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