I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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