He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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