Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
