i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize