Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
