It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
