This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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