i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
