God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Every concussion has its silver lining
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
