sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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