dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
