i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
