part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
