the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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