so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
