it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
