Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
