If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
