maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Enjoy the penises
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
