I'm really into asian looking animals
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
