just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
