Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
