my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
