Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
