I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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