I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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