Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
