You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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