I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
