I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize