Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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