yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You're like the curious george of whores
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
