What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
