I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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