Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
