Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
