hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize