Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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