Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
