Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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