Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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