I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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