if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
