guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
