her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Vodka?
Forever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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