ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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