"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
