what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
